Back to school time is often at once an exciting and stressful time for parents. For those of us who employ nannies in our homes, it may also be a time of transition. Hand in Hand spoke with Alyce Desrosiers, founder of The Institute for Families and Nannies (TIFFAN), about how to think through childcare changes during this time. Here are 8 big takeaways from our conversation.
1. Discuss how the nanny can help to prepare your child for school
For a child who is going to school for the first time, a nanny can be a huge support preparing them for the transition and get them psyched up for the change. They can talk to your child about how long school days will be and what the school environment will be like. They can help prepare your child to meet new children and adults and emphasize what a “big kid” your child is now. A classic way to get your kid excited and feeling ready is by reading books about going to school.
2. Plan your child’s school schedule and calendar
As your child embarks on this new journey, there will be a lot of scheduling changes this coming school year that differ from summer schedules. Get your hands on the school calendar in advance so you can prepare for typical school hours, planned early dismissals, school closings for holidays and vacations, parent-teacher conferences, etc. In addition to school vacations, be sure to discuss these events with your nanny and coordinate schedules for when she wants to take her paid vacation.
It’s also important to plan for the inevitable schedule disruptions. This includes having a sick policy in place and being prepared for the possibility of snow days or emergency shut downs. Be prepared and talk through contingencies.
If your nanny is working part-time, you can’t expect she would always be available when you need her, so always have back up coverage. Have a “Plan B list” which includes people who the children are familiar and comfortable with like family, friends or neighbors.
3. Decide who will handle pick up and drop off
Deciding whether you or your nanny will be in charge of the drop-off and pick-up times is important. Inform your nanny of these, and other rules, such as whether there is a car lane, or if the child has to be walked into the classroom. Determine if the nanny needs to be introduced to the teacher and, if so, how you want to facilitate the introduction. Talk through other potential questions like, are you comfortable with your nanny giving rides to other children? Will they be shuttling your kid(s) to after school activities and/or facilitating playdates? Be clear about these expectations.
4. Talk through the details
Clear communication always helps prevent confusion and conflicts. Clarify the responsibilities in detail. For example, who will be in charge of packing school lunches? Who will help get the kid(s) dressed in the morning? If your nanny will be in charge of picking up your kid(s), make sure they know if they should have after-school snacks prepped and what snacks are acceptable.
5. Consider responsibilities if you have more than one child
You may have one kiddo who is starting school and another who is still at home. This requires an added level of planning around things like whether or not the nanny will take the younger child to drop off the older child, or what to do if school pick up for one child and nap time for another child conflict with one another.
6. Navigate possible transitions from full to part-time nanny
As your child is transitioning to school it may be time to assess if the nanny you employ will continue working with your family. If your nanny worked with your family full-time before your child started school, you may find that you do not need them to work as many hours as she did when your child was home more. You may only need your nanny part-time, and that may or may not work for them. Be sure to clearly explain your new needs to your nanny and leave the option for them to resign if the new responsibilities are not a fit for them.
Alternatively, you may wish to keep the nanny on full-time with a shift in responsibilities. While your kid is in school you may want your nanny to take on more family management roles such as completing the grocery shopping, hiring a plumber to fix a leak, etc. If this is the role, communicate this to your nanny, and allow them to make the choice of whether or not they have the interest and skill set to take to switch responsibilities. Keep in mind, such changes may warrant a scheduling change and/or pay increase.
7. Update the work agreement
Regardless of what you and the nanny you employ decided on, any time there are changes to job responsibilities or changes in hours worked, you’ll want to update the written work agreement. It ensures that everyone is truly on the same page.
8. Prepare to say Goodbye
Last but not least, you may have already made the difficult and emotional decision that you will not continue employing your nanny when your child makes the leap to school. Be sure to give your nanny at least 4 weeks’ notice to ensure enough time to find a new job.
This will be an emotional transition for not only you and your nanny but your kiddo as well. Be sure to include them in conversations and help them to prepare for change in an age appropriate way.
Help your nanny with their next steps by sending them off with severance pay. Ask if they’d like you to be a reference and/or help connect them with another family who is seeking a nanny. If the nanny would like additional support with the job-hunting process, The Institute for Nannies and Families offers a Nanny-Pro Certificate to Employment program that offers hand-on learning such as practicing job interview skills, resume building, and more!
More about Alyce Desrosiers
“My journey into the world of families and nannies began in 1996. A friend, on bedrest with a high-risk pregnancy, asked me to help her find a nanny to care for her toddler. As a clinical social worker for families actively involved in childcare, I thought I could easily do this. I was gravely mistaken. I entered a market of caregivers, marginalized and in the shadows, without standards or licensing. Instead of a ‘Mary Poppins’ with years of education and experience to show up when I needed her, only 10 Percent of candidates met basic expectations. Weeks later we found the right person. I left private practice and followed my passion supporting parents and nannies to make the important decision to work together and provide the best care for the children. Along the way, I’ve worked with hundreds of families, thousands of nannies and published 3 books on the subject.
Twenty years later I founded The Institute for Families and Nannies. Along with a dedicated, passionate group of nannies and early childhood educators, we developed a series of job trainings, education and support”
